Growing Up Married
by Ballerina91
Summary: Ancient Rome. Bella is married off to Edward, a young, successful, and demanding general of the Roman Empire. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

I knew my father was an important man. Because of his position, many finely dressed people visited our home on a regular basis. But I was never around to meet them. I was a child-a girl child at that-and it was not my place. So I was surprised when my presence was required in my sixth summer.

That morning during lessons my mother did not pay attention to what I was saying. And she allowed me to quit early. I was so excited because after lunch I was dressed in my best clothes. It was pretty and white and I felt like a princess. I giggled and laughed and twirled around my dressing room until I was so dizzy I fell over. Then Mother put an end to my fun. She told me I needed to calm down so I would not hurt myself. And I knew how to act like a lady, so behave! Important people were coming today to see me, and I needed to show them I was the most perfect little thing that could be asked for. Was I up to the task?

I am up to the task. I know that I can behave and make my parents proud of me. If I do not, then I will be in lots of trouble later, and I do not want that. Last time I was in trouble, Father tanned my backside. Sitting for lessons was painful for the next two days after that episode.

After my talking to, Mother lead me into the receiving room. Father did most of his business in here, and I had only been allowed in twice before. Surely I must be a grown up now! But my excitement was soon quashed when I noticed two men in the room I did not know. They were both old, but one looked older than old-like my grandfather used to look like.

The grandfather was talking to Father, but the other old one was looking at me. He came over to me. I wanted to hide behind Mother, but I knew that would not be allowed.

"Hi," he said with a smile. This was embarrassing. I had never talked to a man before. Only my older brother, and he did not count. "How old are you?" he asked after a pause. Blushing I held up six fingers, then I did hide behind my mother.

"Isabella!" Father said sternly, "you know better manners." I immediately came out of my hiding place.

The grandfather laughed. "Oh Charles," he said, "she has plenty of time to grow out of it. Speaking of time, can you not be persuaded to push up the marriage a couple years? I know that Edward will be wanting wife sooner rather than later."

I did not know what this meant. Who was getting married? I had never been allowed to go to wedding, but I hoped I would be allowed to attend this one. All the paintings and sculptures I had seen of them made them look like lovely and fun parties!

"She can not be too young," answered Father. "But I suppose a year would not hurt anything. I imagine it would be alright to formally announce the betrothal when she turns thirteen." The grandfather looked pleased at this.

The other man smiled at me again. "I can not wait to see you again Isabella," he said. And then he walked over the join Father and the grandfather.

By this time I was tugging on my mother's hand, ready to leave. If this was how men were, no wonder I never talked to them before. They were silly and made no sense. No, it was better if I did not talk to them again.

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><p><strong>AN:** Before anyone is too grossed out over an old Edward and a young Bella I want to say this. Edward is not really old! Little kids tend to perceive the world in ways that adults do not. For instance, when I was six I thought that eighth graders were so awesome and high schoolers were adults who were probably married and had children of their own. Therefore, never fear: Edward is only old in the eyes of a six year old.

I would also like to add that the subsequent chapters will be longer. This was only the prologue, and as we all know, not much ever happens in those silly things ;)

On another, slightly related note, I will most likely be changing the name. I just have not found one that made think, "Aha that's the one!" But I am unhappy with this one. Because this story will be a little teensy bit dark and I feel that the current title does not portray that.

Also, if anyone is interested in beta-ing for me, that would be greatly appreciated. Even as I am posting this I am finding errors. Eek! I am not expecting this story to be particularly long, if that is a concern.

(I always said that I would not be one of those people whose author's notes were longer than the story . . . seems I am not off to a good start.)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I apologize to everyone who has already read this. It has not substantially changed since the original posting. I realized that the breaks I put into the story to break up the scenes and make it easier to understand for some reason are not compatible with . So I had to figure out why and then I realized that it could not be fixed and I just needed to do something different. And since I am not an expert at fanfiction yet, I accidentally deleted the story during this process when I did not need to. And now I am rambling. Sorry.

P.S. I also realized that I did not include a disclaimer in the last one. So this is the disclaimer for both of the chapters. I do not own Twilight. This is a fictional story. Any similarities to publicly recognizable persons, places, things, or events is purely coincidental. The only thing I own is the story line.

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><p><strong>Six Years Later<strong>

I was sitting in my room with my personal servant. Lauren was dressing my hair. It was simple style that only required wavy locks and my gold headpieces. Then I put on my blue flowing garments. Mother told me last night that I needed to look my best today and then sent me to bed early-so I would not have those horrible rings under my eyes.

My father said someone important is coming today and I needed to impress them. Rosalie and I do not know what that means exactly, but that has not stopped us from speculating. When she was visiting yesterday we discussed everything as possible, from the ludicrous to plausible.

#####

"Maybe your father is going to request you be the entertainment for tomorrow's business meeting," Rosalie had postulated.

"Maybe," I had agreed. "I would have to dress like a fool and juggle flaming sticks in the air. Or perhaps he wants to tell me that I will be adopted by a childless couple."

"Yes, only they want a male child. You will have to pretend to be a man for the rest of your life."

"How does my man voice sound?" I asked in deep timbre. We erupted into giggles and were useless for the rest of the afternoon until Rosalie returned home to her husband.

Rosalie's husband, Emmett, was an adviser to Caesar. He was high up in court system. Although Rosalie and I had grown up together she was a couple of years older than I. Rosalie had been married for a year and half. She had started the second part of her marriage-living together in the husband's home.

Marriage had two parts. Part one was the betrothal phase. Although the couple was legally bound to each other and officially married, the girl would stay in her father's home for about a year. Then she would move into her husband's home-part2-and he would assume the care of all her needs. Mother said there would no copulation until the second stage of marriage, but she refused to make the details of copulation known to me. It was not uncommon for girls as young as twelve to be in the first stage of marriage. The more important her family was, the younger she could be. Everyone involved wanted to make sure she was innocent.

Before we had degenerated in the sillier line of thinking my own marriage had been something Rosalie and I considered to be the important event unveiled tomorrow. But I do not think that is it. Neither Father nor Mother had mentioned it all to me, not even in passing. And I was young still. I had not even seen my thirteenth winter yet. Although I would soon.

#####

I did not have much time until Mother was rushing me to the dinning room. I needed to eat quickly and effectively. We did not want the guests today to think I was a disgusting, little pig, did we? Even though I did not why it was so important for the guests not to think of me as a disgusting, little pig I nodded my head dutifully and proceeded to eat until my stomach felt a little uncomfortable.

Immediately after clearing my plate it was whisked away and I was sent hurriedly up the stairs to freshen up. I had no idea why these guests were so important. Nor did I have any notion why I was so pivotal in gaining their favor. Father never trouble gaining the favor of whoever he needed by himself before. In fact, it was because my father had such an easy time making people like and trust him that we lived so comfortable a life.

#####

For some reason Mother wanted me in the receiving room as little as possible, but Father wanted me to wait on the guests' arrival there. They should not have to wait on me, he told her.

So it was decided I would wait for our guests, sitting elegantly, in the receiving room. It was not long until my father and our guests arrived.

The guests were two men. One was tall and blonde and the other was taller and auburn. My father introduced them as Carlisle, a courtier and one of the top advisers to Caesar, and his son Edward, the youngest and most decorated general in the caesar's army.

I had heard stories of this general that made me wonder what he was doing here. All I knew was that I wanted nothing to do with him. I hoped he did not stay long. I hoped I was not expected to interact with him.

He was supposed to be a cold and hardhearted man. And who in his position would not be? To get this far in such a short amount of time, one would have to have no worries about the opinions of others. Rosalie once told me that her husband would not speak of some of the things the general is said to have done in her presence, that they unfit for the delicate ears of a lady. Lauren said his servants and slaves tell stories of his temper in the market place that would surely insure their death warrants if they made it back to noble ears. Everyone always said he was young, but he looked to be _too_ young. No older than twenty seasons for sure. I pitied his wife. She must have a hard life taking care of him and living under his thumb. I am sure that he must run his household with an iron hand, and be domineering and controlling of her.

After small talk Father made the announcement that changed my life. "Isabella, Edward is to be your husband," he informed me. My mother did not shocked. Added to the way she had acted this morning I could only assume that she knew about this already. Edward and his father must have known too.

The unfairness of the situation hit me hard. Everyone knew what would happen today but me! But I was immediately hopeful. Surely Edward did not want this marriage either. He would need a beautiful wife capable of throwing galas and making him proud at court. One he could show off to the courtiers and who could further him politically.

My hopes were dashed effectively and swiftly by his next words. "I would like to expedite the process. Her day of birth is coming up, correct? Perhaps we could formally announce the betrothal and say the officially vows within a se'night of the date?" his short speech was both annoying and frustrating. He could have queried me, but instead he chose to address my father! If he would not speak to me, what would my life become? I would waste away. Perhaps I would forget _how_ to talk! Is such a thing possible?

Father allowed that what he proposed was possible. Then he and Carlisle squabbled over the details that did not matter to me. I was sure my life was ending and he was worried about what kind of dowry I would take with me! I wish I just could have been excused for this portion of the meeting. I know that under Roman law I did not have to proceed with this marriage, that my father is supposed to take my wishes into account, but I did not dare display any sort of difference of opinion. Father is not the sort of man anyone says "no" to.

Before they left, Edward said to me, "Isabella, I can not wait to take you into my home." I could barely keep my manner polite. I tried to smile, but I imagine it must have come out as more of a grimace than a smile. "I am sure you will make me happy as I will you," he said. I am sure I will make him happy, his subservient little wife! But I know he can never make me happy. I will despair and drown in depression until I can escape this life to the next.

#####

After the meeting with my betrothed, I found I could not sit still. Time was moving too slowly for me. Rosalie needed to arrive so that we could discuss what these developments meant. Of course we had considered this as a possibility, but not seriously-as least on my part. Still . . .

I was wondering about the type of husband Edward would be. Perhaps he was not be wholly awful. After all he was the most decorated general in the caesar's army. And the youngest . . . no maybe he was a righteous man, but his personality and manners left much to be desired. He had barely spoken two words together to me. Less to my mother. It would seem as though my mother and I were not worthy of his time or concern.

"Miss," Lauren called from the doorway.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Miss, Lady Rosalie is here to see you."

"Let her in," I commanded. She could not have come at a better time. And I quickly made known to her all that had occurred here this morning.

#####

Rosalie immediately took me into her arms. "Oh, Isabella," she said soothingly, "calm yourself. You are not doing yourself any good by crying like this. I am sure he is not nearly as bad as you make him seem. I am sure his reputation is also undeserved." And then she said something that gave me hope for the first time all day. "I will ask Emmett what he is like."

"He and Emmett move in the same circles?" I could not believe my luck.

"Well, no," said Rosalie slowly. "But Emmett sees him at court often enough. I am sure Emmett has stories to combat the rumors about Edward."

The hope that had bubbled was quashed. Emmett would likely tell me anything Rosalie desired-surely made up stories and reassuring statements meant to ease my worry.

Rosalie held me until I had cried myself into a such a state that I was exhausted, and I fell asleep in her lap.

#####

The sky was pink when my eyes opened. Lauren was standing in front of me and Rosalie was nowhere to be seen.

"It is nearly dinnertime, Miss," Lauren told me. "I let you rest as long as possible."

I briefly toyed with the idea refusing to dine with my family. But I knew that was a bad idea. Father would not stand for that kind of insolence on my part.

I slowly rose and allowed Lauren to freshen up my hair and garments. Then I walked even more slowly down the stairs to the the dinning hall. If I had to attend dinner, I at least did not have to attend happily. I would make sure that my father knew of my distaste in the only way I knew how. But I had to remember not to push my luck. Father was a powerful man, and although he had not taken the strap to me in several years I knew he would if he felt I needed it.

On my way to dinning hall I bumped into my brother James' friend Michael. James was the best brother a girl could ask for. When I was little he played with me and he did not treat me like dirt under his feet. Now he treated me like a fellow human being. Rosalie always remarked on how lucky I was. She had suffered the abuse of humiliation and embarrassment at the hands of her brothers. They were kindest when they ignored her presence.

Michael was nice to me as well. Sometimes he was a little too nice to me, and it made me uncomfortable. There was no concrete reason I could specify, but at times his actions and words seemed a little inappropriate.

#####

Dinner was an awkward affair. I only spoke when I had to, and I tried to direct my answers to anyone but father. Michael was extra attentive to me. He was always asking my opinion on the course or what I thought of this and that. I answered him in as short and clipped phrases and sentences as I could manage without appearing to be rude. After dinner I retired to bed earlier than normal, almost as early as yesterday night. Even though I had slept nearly all afternoon, I was still exhausted. And I knew that the next year would be busy.

In the next week I celebrated my thirteenth birthday. During the days, my time was spent learning the specifics of what the betrothal ceremony between Edward and me would require of us. It was a short and quick service, but it would signify the end of my old life and the beginning of something new. I was told it would be one of the most important days of my life, perhaps the most important until I birthed my first son. I saw Edward twice in the week. On the days I did not see him he sent gifts of fine materials and jewels, of exotic plants and rich foods. But all these things seemed to mean nothing in the face of his domineering manners and contempt for me and my entire gender.

Rosalie I saw only once and only for a few precious moments. She assured me that all would be fine and that we would discuss this in full at a later date when there was more time. If I barely saw her now, I am sure once I am married that I will never see Rosalie again. Edward will keep me under lock and key. The only things I will know in my married life is my husband and the four walls of my bedroom.

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><p><strong>AN:** I just want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. It was so kind of you. I did not expect that kind of response. I tried to respond to all, but not everyone had their private message setting on.

On another note, I am still looking for a Beta. It really would not take up too much of your time-I promise. And as you can all see, I do need one. It is really hard to edit your own work.

I have tried to be as historically accurate as possible with this story. It is true that young women would be married at very early ages-as soon as they could bear children in some cases. The richer and more powerful the family, the younger the girl would be. They wanted to make sure the girl did not stray before her marriage. It is also true that the young girls had a legal right to refuse marriage to someone they did not want to marry. But in many cases, as with our Bella, the girls would be too weak or nervous or scared or for whatever reason, would never admit how uncomfortable they were with the marriage. The dowry is interesting as well. Women in ancient Rome could own property, specifically the property they brought with them to their marriage.

Thank you for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I apologize for taking so long. A warning about the last section: I don't think it's that bad, but I also don't want people yelling at me because I didn't tell you it's a little . . . err violent isn't the word I would use to describe it . . . so if you are really, really weak of heart, you might want to just skim the last section.

Disclaimer (Are these really necessary? I'm not sure, but I most definitely do not want to get sued.): I do not own Twilight. This is a fictional story. Any similarities to publicly recognizable persons, places, things, or events is purely coincidental. The only thing I own is the story line.

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><p><strong>The Betrothal Year<strong>

I did not want to get up this morning. Today was the day I would agree to sign away my life. A couple of times I had worked up the courage to tell Father that I would not speak my consent. But each time I went to Father's rooms, I could not make myself ask to be let in. Last night I stood outside my father's rooms for nearly an hour trying to convince myself that it would be alright if I talked to him. The reality is my father is a gruff man. He loved his family, I knew this, but I did not think he could take kindly to my impertinence.

So here I was. Dreading getting our my comfortable bed and facing my family, friends and most of all Edward. I know I could not back out now. The betrothal ceremony was today. It would not be a very public ceremony, but if I did not show, it would still be huge blow to Edward's reputation. And the fallout I would have to deal with would not be pretty. No, I would just to have to stick it out. Perhaps I could spend the rest of my life pretending I was not married to Edward at all.

Lauren was doing my hair in one the most elegant styles it has ever been done in. And today I would wear my best linens. They were green and they were a gift from my betrothed. For the past week I had been bombarded with gifts. As if he could buy my allegiance to him. Mother said it showed that he would be an attentive husband, but all I saw was the shallowness of my future life.

Once I was ready I made my way down to the grand entry hall where Father, Mother and James were waiting to escort me to the ceremony. The only people in attendance were my family, his family, the officiator, and a few courtiers. In an irrational fit and moment of stupidity, I had thrown a fit and insisted that Rosalie be present. Mother had quickly put an end to it and threatened to go see Father. She had not. I knew because I had not been punished or even lectured. Rosalie was not in attendance, but it made me happy to see that Emmett was one of the courtiers who would serve as a witness. Throughout the ceremony Emmett gave me encouraging looks. In contrast Edward barely looked at me. I saw this as an omen.

#####

In the days and weeks that followed I did not remember much of the ceremony. Only that, although it was about the two us, Edward and I had little contact. I doubt a word was spoken between the two of us that was not our vows. It was a pattern that would continue-one I am not sure to be thankful for or to fear the significance of.

Edward would make the customary visits to me when he was not busy playing war with his friends. But I learned nothing about him from any of our "long discussions." They started with his hello and ended with mine.

Edward continued treating me to gifts, and they continued to annoy me. I did not know what to make of this. When he came for his visits many times we sat alone in the receiving room, saying nothing. If this was anything like what my life was to be after I made the move to his residence, I will have died of boredom by the second day.

While my husband showed the minimal amount of attentions he could get away with, Michael increasingly paid me more and more attentions. This made me uncomfortable for several reasons. One was that I did not want to be accused of adultery. Even though I did not want to be married now, I would want to be married to someone someday. And if I was cast out as an adulterer I would never be able to remarry. Second was that he was just a little sleezy. I would never understand why my brother chose to spend his time with Michael.

As the days went I became more and more creeped out by Michael. I also began to despair about my marriage. Rosalie and Mother told me to be patient. Eventually, they said, Edward and I would get closer and my marriage to him would seem less odious. But I doubt that could ever happen, because here we are sitting, eating our midday meal together and a total of five words have been spoken. Today he thought he could buy my affections with exotic fruit, delicacies from some distant land he had conquered no doubt. I have no intention of eating them. In fact I will probably give them to Lauren as soon as he departs.

As he finished his meal, he patted his face with his napkin and stood up. "I thank you for the pleasant meal Isabella. Goodbye," he said stiltedly, and then he was gone before I could even respond. Fantastic: he was gruff and short! Not that wanted someone who would prattle away inanely, but surely a happy medium is not too much to ask.

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James and I got along in a way that was rare for brothers and sisters. I think it was a good sign for when he will be married and have children. I know he was beginning to desire to start looking for a wife with whom to have a family of his own. James was eighteen and in the age frame for men to get married. At the moment James was only a bachelor who lived off of my parents, but my father was combing him to take over his job as senator. James would begin the first stage of marriage after he took over for Father.

I knew that since we had a close relationship, I could explain my concern to James about his friend and James would not reprimand or ridicule me. Most likely he would calm down and probably only spend time with Michael away from our residence in the future. I did not want to cause James any inconvenience, but I was getting worried about the way and amount of time Michael was spending around me.

"He is an honorable man, who might be just a little on the bizarre side, but if he makes you that uncomfortable then I will speak to him," James told me.

"Please do not tell him I asked you to," I begged. I did not want to give Michael any ammunition to mistrust me or have any ill feelings toward me.

"Of course not," James assured me. "I will keep him away as well, if it will make you feel better."

"Thank you James," I said and gave him an appreciative hug. "I do not want to inconvenience you," I went on, "but I just felt tha-"

"Do not worry. And do not go feeling guilty for this either Isabella," James instructed, "you should not feel bad for being uncomfortable and voicing it."

#####

Later in the day, I related all this to Rosalie as we walked in the market together.

"You are really very lucky to have such a considerate brother," she observed.

"I suppose it has made me spoilt," I agreed. "Do you think that is the reason why I will never happy in my marriage?" I wondered.

"Isabella," she sighed exasperatedly, "You will not be happy in your marriage because you will not give him a chance. I know he is not a particularly profuse or exuberant man, but even if he was you would not be pleased."

"It is not _my_ fault," I exclaimed in anger. "He sat with me for midday meal and said nothing. He was so severe and frightening I could not think of single to thing to speak of. I do not believe we will ever warm up."

Rosalie thought a minute before saying, "That is not true. Regardless, when you bear his children, they will fill you with immense joy."

"How could you say that! I do not want to birth the devil's spawn. Besides, what would you know in the matter of children?" I demanded.

She looked all around us, as though expecting someone to be listening in on our conversation. When she was satisfied that no one was eaves dropping, Rosalie grabbed my hand and placed it on her stomach. It took a minute for the implication of her action to sink in.

"Really?" She nodded. "Oh Rosalie, that is wonderful news. How happy you must be! Why did you let me complain and complain about my problems when you had such excellent news? What did your husband say when you told him?"

"You must not tell anyone for I have not yet told Emmett. I am only just positive."

"How can you be positive? Can you feel the child?" I asked curiously.

"Not yet," Rosalie said, "but I have been dizzy and many things smell different than they should. My mother told me these are signs." She looked hesitant but after a short pause continued on, "And, Isabella, I have missed my monthly bleeding."

"Oh," my cheeks colored. "When will you tell him?" I asked.

"Soon, I believe. I know he will be happy, but I am afraid that he will become overbearing and protective," she said. Then she said desperately, "Isabella, if he does not let me leave you must promise to visit me daily so that I do not turn insensible. I am sure that will happen if I am not allowed to leave our residence. Please say you will."

It was my turn to reassure her, "I am sure that will not happen."

#####

When I returned home from my outing with Rosalie, I called for Lauren as I made my way up to my rooms. An unwelcome someone was found in there.

"James is not here," I told Michael.

"I did not come to visit with James," he replied.

Cold settled over me, and I was grateful when Lauren came into my rooms with a disapproving look and demanded he leave. I thanked Lauren as she prepared me for dinner. "He is always snooping around. It makes me nervous," I told her.

"He should not be lurking in dark corners," she said, "or in lady's rooms. It is inappropriate, especially as you are a married woman now."

#####

The next day Edward sent word that he was called away on one of Caesar's campaigns. He did not know how long this one would last, hopefully only a few months.

A few months turned into nine. In my worst moments I found myself wishing that Edward would not return. While adulterers were societal outcasts, widows and widowers frequently remarried. This would be an acceptable option for me.

While Edward was gone, I barely received any communications from him, unsurprisingly. And when word did come it was only to say that he was not coming back yet.

#####

In a way Rosalie was right. The restrictions her husband put on her were oppressive. But, according to my understanding, they were normal for any woman who was carrying a child. On the other side, she was not confined to her place of residence. In fact, the mid-wife encouraged her to get exercise daily. This was supposed to help her energy levels as she carried the child and make the delivery process easier. But as her pregnancy progressed, she was allowed less and less time out doors. Eventually she had to use linen bandages to help support her burgeoning abdomen. And then Rosalie was instructed to keep to her bed more and more. The mid-wife said that now the best way to conserve energy and prepare to the birth was rest.

Two weeks after I had a dispatch from Edward saying he would return in three weeks, a messenger from Rosalie came. She had had her child. Rosalie had given birth to a healthy son. She was doing fine and was recovering from her ordeal. Emmett was ecstatic to have his heir, and in four days, I was invited to come and see the son, who would not be named until his registration.

#####

It was the afternoon after I got back from Rosalie that it happened. Michael found me alone with no claims on my time in the near future.

"Hello Isabella," he said with a weird smile.

I did not know how to respond. I knew only that I wanted away from him the fastest way I could manage.

"How have you been? I know you have not seen much of me over the past few months, but rest assured that I have seen you." Michael was slowly getting closer to me with every word. I backed up, until my back hit the wall. "You know, I have desired your company for quite some time," he told me. "I heard your dear, dear husband is about to make is victorious return. I really cannot wait much longer. How fortunate that I have found you all alone today. This can be easy or hard, it is up to you. But whatever you should choose, I can not have you making noise." With these words, Michael lunged at me and covered my mouth with his hand. I struggled and tried to get him off of me, but he was too strong. He shoved a piece of fabric into my mouth to keep me quiet and then dragged me kicking and struggling to a more private area.

"Now," Michael said, "I would greatly appreciate your cooperation. Do you think you can handle that?" He let go of one of my hands while he was talking and I seized the opportunity to further my escape. But his grip on my other wrist was too tight to get away from. "I guess not," he answered himself.

I was torn between wanting someone to come and hoping that no one saw us. If someone came they would be able to put a stop to what Michael was doing. Unless they thought that I was enjoying it and encouraged his attentions. They might label me as an adulterer! But surely, _surely_ they would recognize that I did not receive this behavior favorably? It could not look like I wanted this, I was using everything in power to try and get away. It mattered not what I wanted. No one heard the commotion we caused, and no one came . . . to rescue me or otherwise.

"Settle down!" Michael yelled to me in hushed tones. "You will not fall with child. Your precious husband will not even have to know what is going on if I use your delectable derriere." I did not understand what Michael was telling me. He turned me around. With my front facing the wall, Michael was able to render my hands useless. With my arms pinned between the wall and my body his hands pulled up my robes. No, no,_ no_! I did not want this. I began to struggle harder, but I just could not get away. I felt a cool breeze on my posterior and then an agonizing pain that nothing could have prepared me for. For how long he proceeded to defile me I know not, only that time seemed to stop. Michael finished his business with a grunt.

He turned me around and glared menacingly. "If you think of telling anyone what happened here, there will be serious ramifications for you, Isabella," Michael snarled at me. With those parting words, he turned on his heel and left me.

I slid down the wall and cried with abandon. Once I finally had myself under control, I made my way to my rooms. What was I going to do? When Edward returned he would know that I was unfaithful to him. Michael swore that Edward would be unable to tell and that I would not fall with child, but how could he be sure? I had bled, just as I was told would happen on my first time. When Edward found out he would divorce me and everyone would know what had happened. I would be cast out and made to live a life of solitude. Even though I did not want to be married to Edward, that was most assuredly preferable to living in the wilderness. I might be eaten by crazed animals!

Lauren came into my room and told me dinner was served. I only had three more dinner feasts at my father's house before I would move to my husband's residence. Edward would be home tomorrow and I was told that he was eager to move into the second stage of our marriage. I would move into his home in three days time. And then he would know of my infidelity.

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><p><strong>AN:** Sorry for doing that to Bella. I tried to do it in a tasteful way (is that possible? It's a little oxymoronic). Anyway I hope you enjoyed it.

I tried to keep it as historically accurate as possible. All of Bella's worries about being accused of adultery are not unfounded. Fathers had the legal right to kill their daughters and the men they were adulterous with. In some cases husbands had the right to kill the man their wives had adulterous relationships with. In any case, it was illegal for a husband to stay married to his wife if she had an adulterous relationship with someone-he must divorce her. And then she would either be cast out from society sent to live by herself or killed by her father. She could never be remarried. However, it was common practice for widows and widowers to be remarried. Since lifespans were not long, it was necessary in many cases to help perpetuate the culture.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It is greatly appreciated. I am still working on replying to them all (I have been very busy).

Also, still looking for a Beta. Please please please someone help me out!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I just want to say thank you to LoriDuchess, who offered to Beta for me. She Beta-ed this chapter. You guys will no longer have to read all my spelling and grammar mistakes!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. This is a fictional story. Any similarities to publicly recognizable persons, places, things, or events is purely coincidental. The only thing I own is the story line.

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><p><strong>Stage 2 Begins<strong>

Over the next three days I stayed in my rooms as much as possible. Lauren feared I must be ill, but I did my best to convince her that I was fine. In truth, I needed to figure out my options. If I told someone, who would it be? Who would believe that I had not desired it? I had no idea what Father would do. Mother would tell my father, so she must not be told as well. James was caring, but he was sometimes blind to the faults of others. Would he believe me? I could not take the chance. I did not want to burden Rosalie with this as she had just had brought the sweetest little life into the world and did not need to be worried about me. No, no, there was only one viable option. I would just have to keep this to myself.

I was overly aware of every minute change in me, afraid it was a sign I was with child. Every time I thought of what he had done to me I was nauseous beyond belief. Rosalie said that was one of her signs of pregnancy. When I felt tired, I immediately pulled myself out of the stupor to decide if I thought it was because I was carrying a child. Michael swore I would not fall with child, and that Edward would not able to tell. But how could he know for certain? I should not trust him. I had heard Father talking with someone about a girl who was condemned for using contraceptives. Perhaps I could employ one of those methods? But I had no way of knowing what they were. Maybe I keep from eating and starve the child? No, that was too cruel. There had to be a better way to go about it. Maybe I could convince Edward the child was his? But would be a possibility only if I could make him believe that I was still untouched.

I wished for someone in whom I could confide and who could help me make these decisions.

I was sitting by the window pondering all this when a hand on my shoulder made me jump. I looked up into the face of my mother.

"Isabella," she said, "I know that you are nervous, but it is unnecessary. I would be surprised if you were not. Every woman in your position has felt the same way." But she did not know the true reason why I was so afraid. "Now, Isabella, tonight is your last night sleeping here. Before you leave us, I need to impart some final knowledge on you."

Now I was red and flustered. I know what she alluded to. I wished I could stop her before she began, but I was certain if I said something she would know what had happened. I would just need to keep my mouth shut and let her plow though with what she desired to say.

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The next day at midday when my husband and his family arrived for the feast, I realized that my mother may have been right, he was very handsome. But now I was sitting here in the carriage and I realized she was wrong about the pleasure one could receive from coupling. Any woman who gained pleasure from that must have some masochistic tendencies.

Lauren had given me different advice than my mother. She said if I did not want to copulate, fake an ailment. Of course I would have to participate in the coupling tonight. Lauren warned me to make sure it was not a serious illness, but something that did not require a physician, like a headache or upset stomach. For tonight, however, I would just have to stick it out with the pain. Hopefully I would bear him a child immediately and he would no longer enter my rooms at night. I suppose that is the best case scenario I can attain.

The carriage stopped abruptly and Edward leaped to the ground lightly. He held out his hand to help me descend the steps. I got the first look at my new home. Although my father was wealthy, it was grander than anything I had ever seen.

Edward spoke for the first time since we left my father's house. "Is it suitable?" he asked. I did not know what to say, so I only nodded my head.

"Come," he said, "I will show you the way around." As Edward's tour was not very thorough, I was glad to have at least met the head of the household staff. The older lady looked kindly. I hoped that she would help me out when it came to managing the day to day necessities of the house. And finding my way around. The house was so huge I am sure that I will lose my way and die of starvation trying to find the dining room.

I was quickly whisked away to my new rooms. They were grand and nothing like the rooms I occupied at my father's house. I did not think that so much would change. I nearly cried with relief at the only familiar sight when Lauren came into the room to help me freshen up for supper.

"Here you go," she said spritzing me with rose water. She calmed my hair and chatted about nothing, taking my mind off my nerves. And before I knew what was happening, Edward was at the door to escort me to the dinning room. I wondered if I could throw a temper tantrum, or assault him, or fake an illness to one of the courses at dinner tonight. But for some reason, I did not think any of those options would go over very well with Edward.

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Dinner was a long, drawn out affair. Mostly because I made it that way. My soup had been cold for at least forty minutes before I finished it. And even then, I made sure get every last drop of it out of the bowl; if I thought I could have gotten away with it, I might have licked the bowl. I cut my meat into tiny pieces so small they could be swallowed with out any chewing. But that did not stop me from chewing each piece slowly and thoroughly. I am not sure what I hoped-if I would take so long eating he would tire of me and send me away or if I took so long he fell asleep at the table. Either would be fine by me, though neither seemed likely. I am sure he must know what I am trying to do. I am also sure he must be very annoyed by stalling methods. But I am too afraid to look at his face to know for sure.

As I put the last piece of the meat in my mouth, Edward's throat cleared. It was the loudest noise that came from either of us during dinner. The sound scared me. It made me jump and choke.

"Please bring out the dessert," Edward instructed the servants. When I did not stop coughing, he turned to me, "Are you alright Isabella?" I tried to respond, but could only shake my head. Edward nodded at one of the servants behind me and then I felt someone's hand connect with my back. Hard. Twice. The meat flew out of my mouth and across the table, where it sat. It was an ugly dark spot on the otherwise immaculate white tablecloth. The contrast was striking, and for a moment I could do nothing but stare in horror, waiting for his words of reproach-or worse.

"I am so sorry," I finally managed to get out. Edward said nothing. When I looked up he was already starting on the fresh fruit in front of him. I looked down at my place as a plate set down.

The awkwardness settled down on us again as I brought the first grape up to my mouth. If I had not been so worried and nervous about what was going to come next, I would have actually enjoyed the meal. My father had been wealthy, but it was nothing compared to the opulence that Edward enjoyed. Everything he owned seemed to be grander, richer, more vibrant and prestigious than I anything I was used to before. War and looting must be a very profitable endeavor. My thoughts sobered immediately. Edward had killed people. It was how he earned this opulence. Would he kill me when he found out I was no longer innocent? I determined to eat my strawberries and grapes slowly and enjoy them as much as possible in the case that they were the last thing I would have in this life.

The were delicious really. Juicy and just ripe. The grapes were a crunchy perfection, that made a very satisfying sound as my teeth cut into them. All too soon, they were gone and Edward rose from the table. For a moment, panic overtook me and my brain would not function. I sat still for a minute until Edward looked at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Are you quite finished, Isabella? Or would you like to eat the plate as well?" I blushed deeply and stood quickly. "I will drop you off at your rooms-"my heart rose, maybe he did not intend to consummate tonight! But it plummeted swiftly at his next words "-and I will meet you there in an hour." An hour! That was cruel. Was this his punishment for dinner? I would be a complete mess for an hour waiting for him to come.

We arrived at my door, and I stepped inside where I found Lauren. I rushed over to her as soon as the door shut behind me.

"Miss, it is not my place to ask, but are you alright?" Lauren queried. I hugged her. She looked surprised, and after a second wrapped her arms around me too. "Are you frightened of what comes next?" I nodded and few tears leaked out. "Do not be so afraid," she stated. "It's not that bad as everyone seems to make it out to be," she said soothingly.

But I was beyond that. "It is awful. It is," I cried. Lauren laughed slightly and shook her head.

"Of course it is not. And the master knows you are innocent; he will be gentle. You will see, it will all be fine." I shook my head. "It will. The other servants have told me that he is a fair and good master in all things. If he is fair to his _servants_, he will treat _you_ very well. Now, dry your tears. They are unbecoming in a young lady like yourself. Come," she said after a second's pause, "we will get you all ready for him."

Supposing I had been a virgin, Lauren's words would have been comforting. I would have been able to spend the rest of the hour calmly-or more calmly than I did. But Lauren did not know that I had experienced that act before and her lies were, therefore, unnecessary. She did not know that I was more concerned with Edward finding out my fallen state than anything else.

Lauren said he was fair. I suppose that means he will just denounce me as an adulterer and spare my life? But maybe that was not fair. Maybe it was only fair to take my life. I had taken away his wedding night, after all.

I was so preoccupied with these thoughts, I did not realize that she was finished dressing me in my night clothes. But these clothes were unlike any I had ever worn. They were so thin that one could almost see through them. My hair was down. For a moment I heard my mother's voice telling me to never let a man see me like this. But I think she must not be talking about my husband. He must be allowed to do anything?

Lauren left me, and I wanted to beg her to stay. But I knew I could not. Instead I spent the rest of my time on my bed, mentally preparing to fake my way through this. I had almost convinced myself I could do it, when I remembered that I would not bleed! Perhaps I could cut my hand and put the blood all over my bedding. I knew that would not work. But before I could come up with a better scheme there was a knock on my door.

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I knew there was nothing for it. I would just have to fake it and pretend I had no clue what was going on. Edward walked into my rooms and stood up quickly, and walked away from the bed. I did not have a clue where I was walking to, but I knew I did not want to be near the bed. At my actions, a smile appeared on Edward's face. It was an amused smile; not menacing or scary in any way, but it still made me uncomfortable. I supposed the feeling must stem from the idea that he knows he is about to take pleasure from me in a way that will hurt me.

He walked toward me and held out his hand. "Isabella," he said in an amused voice, "I promise I will not bite. Come over to bed, you will be much more comfortable." I took his hand hesitantly, and his smile and amusement grew. "You do not need to be frightened," he said as he led me to bed. "I do not know what you have been told, but I assure you, it can be a very pleasurable experience for the female as well." He smiled again, but I remained unconvinced. "Really, Isabella," he laughed, "by the end of tonight I will have you screaming and writhing in pleasure." But I only shrunk away from him on the bed. "Alright, we can take very slow. Would you like a glass of wine? It will help you relax."

I was unsure if I wanted the wine. On the one hand I am sure it will make what will happen next much more bearable. On the other, what if I let go of too many inhibitions and tell Edward something damning? He will probably find out anyway-wine it is then. "Yes, please," I answered softly. Edward nodded, and left the bed temporarily, returning with two goblets in his hand.

"Here," he put one of the glasses into my hand. I drank deeply, hoping to numb the pain that I knew would come. If I could just drink enough, perhaps I will remember nothing of this in the morning.

When he saw how much I was drinking, Edward let out a chortle and took the goblet from me. "You really are nervous," he laughed, "you innocent little thing." He was still laughing. He would not be laughing if he knew just how ruined I really was. I was half tempted to blurt it out and put an end to this whole charade, but common sense held me back. Instead I reached for the goblet that Edward had taken out of my hand. But he pulled it farther out of my reach saying, "Are you trying to get yourself drunk?" then he laughed again. He laughed to himself, "Who knew that I married such an unlady-like drunk?"

I did not know what to make of this laughing Edward. Did bedroom activities really make a man _this_ happy? We had not even done anything yet; how happy would Edward be after? But this did not seem the likely reason. After all, Michael had seemed angry when he took my innocence. Perhaps _I_ had married the drunk. I suppose after one had killed and plundered enough one needed something to take your mind off of what one had done. Maybe Edward turned to the drink. This made more sense than anything else I could come up with.

I had almost forgotten why we were here. Almost. Until Edward set the goblets down on the floor next to the bed and reached for my nightclothes. I gulped and gritted my teeth. The real question I should be asking is what will happy Edward do when he finds out I am not innocent? This side of Edward almost made me more afraid, it made him seem more volatile. Volatile people were dangerous. Dangerous people hurt others. Would he realize I was not a virgin and still take me, before he decides to denounce me? I had no other choice. I would just have to stick it out. I had done it once before, I am sure I can do it again. If I could just trick him into thinking I was still a virgin maybe I would be alright. But when he talked he seemed so informed, like he had already experienced it himself. If that was the case, perhaps he could not be fooled.

Edward pulled my nightclothes off, and stared at me. I blushed red to the roots of my hair. This was perhaps the most embarrassing moment of my entire life! He reached for my shoulder and brought me to him. Then he kissed my lips. I just sat there, unresponsive, unsure of what was expected of me. Edward removed his own vestments and I saw him,_ him_, for the first time. I had not seen Michael, so I had nothing to compare to, but Edward looked big. And painful.

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I could not get through this again. The first time was painful and did not _want_ to experience that kind of pain again. Edward pulled me in for another kiss. But when I still did nothing he seemed to get a little annoyed. As though he thought to force a reaction out of me, his hands moved lower on my body. I could not push the images and feelings from my first time out of my head. And before I knew what was happening, I was off the bed and scrambling into the far corner of the room.

As I was trying to get myself into the smallest area possible, I surveyed the disorder I had left in my wake. The wine goblets had been knocked over and red liquid was spreading on the floor. But it hampered by the bedding that I had unwittingly dragged onto the floor. The white of the bedding was slowly staining a dark red from the wine that sponged up off the floor.

And still sitting on the bed in a state of confusion was my husband.

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><p><strong>AN:** A quick reminder/clarification: in the last chapter, when Bella was raped, she was sodomized. I did not come right out and say it in the last chapter because I was trying be as . . . tasteful and tactful as possible. Of course, Bella doesn't understand this and what is going on. This is the reason for her concern during this chapter.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'll try to have the next chapter out soon, hopefully by next Thursday.

P.S. I'm still trying to come up with a better title. Anyone who has one and is willing to share, please do!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **I know. I know. I said this would be out sooner. What can I say? I'm sorry. Thanks to LoriDuchess who Beta-ed this for me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. This is a fictional story. Any similarities to publicly recognizable persons, places, things, or events is purely coincidental. The only thing I own is the story line.

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><p>Curled up in the corner, I could not believe what I had just done. Now he would know something was wrong for sure. I could not hear anything, but I was sure that he was going to come over here to drag me back to the bed. When I dared to peek a glance, Edward was still just sitting on the bed. In fact, I do not believe he had moved even an inch. Maybe I killed his brain. Maybe he was dead. Surely, <em>surely,<em> he could not be that out of it. I briefly considered going over to him to see if he was still breathing. But I quickly thought better of it. I was safer in my corner than anywhere else.

We sat for what seemed like eons before Edward moved. He stood up, picked up the wine goblets and the sodden bedding and set them aside. He surprised me by cleaning up my mess. Then Edward did something that surprised me even more. He dressed himself and walked toward me. I shrunk back further into my corner. Now I was going to be punished.

Instead he stopped in front of me, squatted down and offered me the garment in his hands. Was this a test? Would he grab my arm and drag me out of my safe haven if I reached for it? Being dressed was infinitely more desirable than the naked state I was currently in. Would he really let me dress?

"Isabella, take it," he said softly. "It will be okay."

How could I be sure this was not a trap? "Come on Isabella. You can trust me." Trust! Trust was what got me in this situation in the first place. I trusted my father to make the best decisions for me. I trusted James to protect me. I trusted myself to keep my mouth shut and let Edward have me in the married way. Every time had been a mistake.

"Here, come on," Edward said again. I just sat there. He grabbed my arms and attempted to drag me out. I was not going down with out a fight. Kicking and twisting to get away, Edward had to let go of me. "Isabella," he crooned, "I am just trying to put this on you. Nothing else. I promise." He reached for me again but I whimpered and cringed. Edward sighed, "Alright. I am leaving this here. I will be back soon." He got up and left the room, picking up the bedding a goblets on his way.

I sat unmoving for several minutes before I realized Edward could come back at anytime. But maybe I had waited too long. What if he came back while I was still getting dressed? I carefully debated whether it was worth the risk. I had just decided that it was worth the risk to be clothed when Edward came back in with fresh, clean, white bedding. He looked around the room, presumably for me, and sighed when his eyes landed me. Still in the corner. Still undressed.

"Isabella, please get dressed. You will be more comfortable," he assured me. He went about putting the new bed sheets on my bed. When he finished, and I still had not moved, he groaned and rubbed his forehead. He sat on the bed, looking weary worn. "Would you like me to call your servant back in?" he asked finally.

Did I want that? Her presence would be comforting, but the less people who knew about this the better. On the other hand, I am sure all of Rome will know by this time tomorrow. And I trusted Lauren implicitly. Of course, she would be sleeping. Did I want to allow Edward to wake her up?

I did not really want to tell him anything. I did not want his help. Nor did I trust him. I did not know what he hoped to gain from this fake kindness, but I am sure his motives were sinister.

The fact remained, I cold not call for Lauren myself. Reluctantly, I nodded my heard. Edward got up and disappeared briefly, only to return with Lauren in tow. Lauren looked nervous. She looked around for me, but her eyes skipped right over me.

"Where-" she started, but was cut off by Edward pointing to me in the corner. As soon as she saw me, she rushed over. "Isabella, what are you doing? Are you alright?" She said nothing else, staring at me. It seemed she was waiting for some response. I did not know how to answer the question, so I did a half nod-half shake of my head.

"Come on. Ger out of the corner," Lauren said, reaching for my arm. I shook my head. Not with Edward standing behind her, watching us. Lauren followed the direction of my eyes. She leaned down to me and whispered into my ear, "What did we talk about earlier? This behavior is not becoming of a young lady of your status!" But I still shook my head. "What do think he is going to do? Attack you while I am standing right here?" she said exasperatedly. "Come on, Isabella. Look, here is your night clothes. Let's get you dressed, alright?"

I let her pull me up out of the corner. She slid my night clothes over my head. Then lead me over to the window and sat me down. I felt her start to work the brush through my hair. I started to relax. "That's it," Lauren coaxed. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

I shook my head, "I just panicked."

Nothing was said for a long while. Finally, Lauren broke the silence, "You are alright now. I need to go."

"Please do not leave me," I cried.

There was a long pause before Lauren said, "I need to. I think you should talk to the master. Maybe he can calm your fears better than I did earlier."

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Lauren left, and immediately I rushed to get back to my corner. Her advice was not applicable. She thought I was scared because I was an innocent little girl; but really I was scared because I was not. I had almost made it to the haven of the corner when I felt Edward's hands grip my. I knew his earlier kindness did not come without a price. It had only been to lull me into complacency.

"No, no, no, no," I begged. Since I had already messed up, I was not above begging now. Perhaps before I had a reason to go through with it, but now, now I did not. "Please, no!" I was screaming now, but it seemed that my words fell on deaf ears because he picked me up. "Please, please, stop. I can not . . . please do not." I was hysterical and kicking trying to get out of his arms. Then I felt something soft underneath me. The bed! Instead of the comfort it once would have given me, its lushness gave me fear. I redoubled my efforts to escape Edward's arms.

"Calm down," he said, not unkindly. "I am only trying to put you to bed." It seemed he was. The top sheet was pulled down, and he was not on the bed with me. Edward laid me gently on bed and pulled the sheet up to cover me. "You should sleep. And tomorrow we will talk." Even though his voice was soft and low, the final words sounded ominous. What did he want to talk about? Silly girl, I chided myself, you know what he wants to talk about. But before I could consider much more, I felt his hand on my back. A second after I tensed up, I realized he was only trying to set me at ease by rubbing my back. The whole ordeal tonight must have exhausted me more than I originally thought, because I had no trouble falling asleep. Even if I was in the arms of the enemy.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

I awoke the next morning to Lauren opening the curtains and letting in the sunlight. Edward was nowhere to be seen.

"The master said if you felt up to it to come down to break your fast. He said if not, he will send someone up with victuals."

"Thank you, Lauren," I replied. Was it really my choice? Or was I just expected to come down and dine with Edward? Maybe this was a test. I remembered his words last night; we still had to "talk" and I did not want to push my luck. I would dress and go to the dinning hall.

Lauren fixed my hair and helped me into the green robes she laid out for me. Then I wandered the halls for sometime, trying to find my way to breakfast. I peeked into several rooms, but none were the one I was looking for.

When I finally found the dinning hall, I took my place at the table across from Edward. "How are you this morning?" he asked. "Better than last night, I hope."

"Much better," I returned awkwardly and blushing.

"Good, good. You should eat, then I will show you the gardens." His voice held the promise of things to come. The gardens must be where he would confront me. I had hoped it would be in a less public place than out of doors, but I suppose it was his perogative to turn this into a public spectacle. Perhaps he could call for all the servants and slaves to spectate as well.

Unlike last night, I ate at a more normal pace. Last night I learned that getting it over with is a much better way to deal with and handle things than putting it off. Perhaps, had I just plowed through and not tried to wait it out, I might have gone through with the copulating. Then we would not be here in this position. I would not be about to be denounced by my husband, and he would not be about to embarass himself by announcing to the world that he could not keep his wife from straying. Although to be fair, and give credit where credit is due, Edward's . . . ablities or lack thereof really had nothing to do with my infidelity.

As I was eating, I found myself losing my appetite quickly. I pushed away my plate, and we both stood. Edward offered me his arm, which I took gratefully. I could not support myself with only me own two legs. Edward led me out into the gardens and over to a bench by some beautiful blue flowers, where we sat down.

"Isabella, we need to talk about what happened last night," he started off. "But first I want to make sure that you understand that I will not harm you in any way. You do not need to fear me. Whatever has happened, or will happen, it is my job as your husband to protect you and make sure that you are taken care of. In every way." I doubt if I have ever heard him say so much at one time, and for a moment, I was thrown off my guard by the surprise of his miniature monologue. But I quickly brought myself back to task.

Edward was staring at me. Perhaps he thought I would go first and just explain everything. If that was the case, then he was sorely mistaken. I had no intention of telling him anything that he did not directly ask. What happened last night was damning to me, and was not about to add fuel to the already raging fire.

We sat in silence for several mintues before Edward must have realized that I would not be the first to say anything.

"Isabella, why did you panic so horribly last night?" Edward asked me. He tried to hold my gaze but I looked away quickly. Now that the moment was here I was not feeling nearly as brave as I had hoped. I found I just could neither look him in the eyes nor could I tell him the truth, but I did not think I could lie either. So I held my silence.

"I need to know what happened, Isabella. You need to tell me!" Edward spoke softly, although somewhat forcefully. I shook my head. "Who touched you, Isabella?" I could not hold in the gasp that escaped my lips. "Was it your brother?"

Before I could consider the ramifications, the words were out, "He would never! James is the most wonderful-" I stopped suddenly as I realized what I had just confirmed for him.

"Then who?"

I wanted to deny it, but there was no way he would believe me now. It seems he had already known, before I told him anything. But I could not tell Edward _his_ name. _He_ said that if I told anyone, something bad would happen to me. Instead, I asked, "What will you do to me?"

Edward seemed surprised and confused by my question. "What do you mean? I certainly will not force my pleasure on you, if that is what worries you."

"Will you just divorce me for being an adulterer? Will you have me beheaded?" The thought of being beheaded had me in tears. I could not help adding, "Please do not have me killed! Oh please do not cast me out! I did not enjoy it, I did not. I promise I did not want it. I promise, I promise! I will not let it happen again. I will never leave the manse. I swear to you on my life. Only do not send me away or have me killed."

Edward pulled me awkwardly and gingerly into his embrace. "Hush," he said. "I will not send you away. Nor would I have you beheaded for this. By the gods! What must you think of me?

"Isabella, I must ask of you one thing. You must tell me who touched you and when."

"Oh please do not make me. I cannot. I do not want to. Please," I begged hysterically.

Edward looked at me for a moment. He sighed. I thought he was about to insist, then, "Who else knows of this?"

"No one," I managed to get out between sniffles.

"No one! What, did you not tell anyone?" Edward looked aghast. I shook my head. "Not your mother? Not your father? No one? By the gods, girl. I thought you had something of a head on your shoulders!"

At his rebuke I burst into tears again. Edward sighed and rubbed his forehead. He pulled me into his arms more tightly and began to rub my back. When I had calmed significantly Edward said, "There is no else that can give me this information. You must."

I started to protest, but he fixed me with his stare. It was at this moment that I first understood what his life must have been like. Although he was only a handful of years older than me, he was vastly more mature and informed of the world. Last night I had been afraid of my death at his hands. I never considered how that would affect him. How killing people, or seeing someone he cared about die would change and age him. How silly I must seem to him. Some girl who can not even handle telling him what he asks. Especially after this is all he asks for. Not my divorce or fall from grace. Not my death.

I nodded to let him know that I would tell him whatever he asked.

"Shall we start with an easy question?" he asked. I nodded thankfully, although I supposed any question would be hard. "You have begun your monthly bleeding, yes?" I blushed and nodded. What did that have to do with anything? "Did he-" Edward faltered for a moment, "did he do anything to prevent you from falling with child?"

I did not know how to answer the question. "I do not believe so, but I do not know. He vehemently insisted that I would not fall pregnant and that-" I cut myself off.

"And what, Isabella?" Edward prompted.

I forced myself to continue. "And that you would never know he had . . ." I trailed off.

Edward looked shocked, as though he knew something that I did not. "How?" he asked.

"He," I paused. I did not know how. "I am not sure. I do not know how he could guarantee those things"

"When did this happen?" he changed direction. I held up four fingers. "Four months ago?" I shook my head. "Weeks?" Again I shook my head. "Days!" he asked astonished.

"Yes," I admitted quietly.

"It is no wonder you were so frightened last night. Why did you say nothing?"

"I did not want to be in trouble."

Edward groaned. "Please do not keep something like this from me again. It is my job to protect you. I am sorry that I have failed."

We sat in silence for a long time, looking at the beauty that surrounded us. I could not believe how understanding Edward had been. After a while, Edward suggested that we go inside for our midday meal. Then after, perhaps I would enjoy a more complete tour of his residence. Later we could finish touring the gardens outside before evening meal and bed. I did not need to worry; bed was for sleeping only. He would not push me, he understood the trauma that came with what happened to me.

"Of course, tomorrow, we still need to finish discussing this. I realize that the idea is upsetting to you, but I must have his name. It is imperative. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Edward," I replied. But I still did not want to give it. Perhaps I could distract him enough that he would not realize I had never given him the name, but that would be rude to Edward. Afterall he had been more kind and considerate than I had any reason for hoping, or deserved. Maybe Rosalie was right, and I had misjudged him. Maybe this marriage would be alright in the end.

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

The next morning, when I awoke, Lauren was already in my room to help me get dressed. Now that I knew Edward was not going to send me away, I felt better. But I still did not want to give him the name he asked for. Of course I would though. My husband more than deserved it. Last night he had walked me to my room after dinner and left me at the door. Edward was so sweet letting me know that if I needed anything, I could send for him. It did not matter what time it was.

While at breakfast, Edward asked where I felt most comfortable having this discussion. My first thought was to say nowhere, but that would not help the situation. I suppose that I will have to answer his inquiry. I owe that to him at least. Maybe if he comes for me like promised, Edward would protect. Edward said it was his job. I do not know what that encompasses. But he seems to be more open than I originally thought.

Why? Why is Edward being so kind and considerate towards me? Especially after I have wronged him so greatly? I robbed him of his wedding night and he did not send me away or call for my death. There must be some reason. Maybe this life with him will not be as bad as it once seemed.

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><p><strong>AN:** Ok. I hope you guys liked it. I'm thinking the next update will not take me as long. But just in case I don't see you before then: have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Also: still looking for that title change. Let me know if you have a better one that you are willing to share.


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